is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I could fuck to npr.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
