So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
