You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
