just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
