there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
