If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
