mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
