farters have to be the big spoon...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
