woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize