Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
