I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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