i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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