Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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