The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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