yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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