My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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