Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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