I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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