WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize