I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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