Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
