dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
