you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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