I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
