so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
