He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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