I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
