Are we in a gay sports bar?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
