At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
