I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
