Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
