did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
