You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
