you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
