No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
