I want to have your abortion
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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