Whatcha textin bout Willis?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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