Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just want to make out with him forever
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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