His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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