Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
