fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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