You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
