I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Four minutes until I can fart!
How's work?
Spinning.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
