i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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