Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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