i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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