Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
