Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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