Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
