I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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