I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize