Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
