I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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