I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
