ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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