Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
