the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
This house was built for laser tag.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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