relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
