I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
