well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
